Lonely
by BlackeyedPrince
Summary: Iruka feels bad. A lot.


Title: Lonely Author: BlackeyedPrince Fandom: Naruto Summary: Iruka feels alone.  
Rating: K+ to T Pairings: None really. KakashixIruka. If you want to look at it that way.  
Feedback: Yes please! Comments are welcome, especially constructive critisism.  
Beta'd: Nope.  
Author Notes: Vomited out in an angst attack. I really like Iruka, I only want pretty things to him,  
but he is much too easy to hurt. This is my first fanfic on anything ever. I am sorry if it's crap.  
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters of Naruto, they belong to Masashi Kishimoto. And if anyone thinks I'm making money out of this, they need to have their brain checked. Bad.

When he was feeling exceptionally bad, Iruka would draw curtains in front of the windows with a calm, nonchalant mask soundly in place. After that, he would sit against a wall and wait for it to hit him. Those thoughts showed no mercy when they got him fullblast. He was able to keep himself quiet during the attacks, he was a trained ninja after all. But his face was twisted in to such a horrible expression of grief, guilt and hurt that it seemed almost inhuman. A shinobi must never show his feelings in the public, no matter what.

Iruka had long since convinced himself to live alone. Of course, that didn't mean that the selfish thoughts of wanting love and warmth would leave him. Naruto had been a good way of distracting him, he had felt almost happy with his students glowing smile brightening up the days. Then Naruto had left him, not intentionally, he had been just pursuing his dream of becoming the Hokage. Iruka was once again alone. Just like when his parents died- 'no, don't go there.'

He had buried himself to work, giving his class more essays than ever, taking up more shifts at the mission desk. That had distracted him for a while, but he got exhausted quickly, staying up until two or three every morning correcting essays and waking up at 6:30. He lessened his workload, but it just made the thoughts come back.

If they would have been just this attacks that happened during the day, those which he could somewhat control, it would've been fine. But the nightmares he hadn't had since he was fifteen came back and he would wake to his own screaming, hoping desperately that there would be someone to hold him and tell him it would be ok.

He didn't want to be alone anymore. He couldn't handle it, even though he knew love would probably never come his way, he decided he needed a friend. Not just an acquintance like his colleagues at the academy, but a friend who'd listen to him or just talk to him. It was too big a load on Naruto, the sunny ninja didn't deserve having to worry about his former teacher. Naruto had his own life now.

One day on Irukas shift in the mission room, Konoha's famous copyninja, Hatake Kakashi walked in.  
Iruka was in a way delighted to see the man, as he could not-so-subtly inquire about Naruto. Kakashi made his way to the desk an slouched in front of it in a very uncaring manner.  
"Yo, Iruka-sensei"  
The lazy, friendly voice greeted behind the mask. Iruka was handed a slightly crumpled piece of paper, that he straightened out almost reflexively. He eyed it for a while, tired red-rimmed eyes trying hard to focus. Then he carefully put the paper to a pile on his right, that waited to be throughoutly read and stamped.  
"So... Aren't you going to ask me about Naruto"  
Iruka looked up at this. Kakashi's showing eye was curled in a smile and Iruka made his decision.  
"I was thinking that you might give me a more detailed report about your team later... Over ramen, maybe"  
Iruka felt a slight flush grace his face. Kakashi was a little surprised by the suggestion but smiled anyway.  
"Alright, Iruka-sensei"  
When Kakashi walked away, Iruka smiled weakly. It was the first genuine smile in weeks and he felt a little lighter.

-END

Thank you for the reviews, Tenshi-Battosai and Soiel! I'll love you forever and give you cookies. Or something else if you don't like cookies.(smooth). 


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